Tuesday, February 13, 2007

My Marriage

Dear Friends,

What a beautiful day in the Lord this is. We have completed our new family mission statement for the year 2007. Some of you have shared so much with me and asked me to share a few things of my marriage with you.
As I sat down to share my joy with you I realized how it seems like we are all on at the same time having a cup of tea. I really love reading all about your families, goals, tips, prayer requests , bible verses, biblical lessons, spiritual guidance and yes the recipes~smile~ those things that you have shared with me helped focus my energy where I want my part of our goals to be this year.
The Lord has been so wonderful to my husband and I and each day with it new lessons, in life and our home.
I heard the saying once that if you aren’t getting anywhere maybe you aren’t applying your goals, or they were the wrong goals. Or your ladder is against the wrong wall...

Well when I was proposed to I had the goal to be the best wife and mom as I am sure you all did and do. In order to do that I knew that I had to have my marriage blessed by the Lord and be willing to submit to my husband.
When we went for marriage counseling (By our Pastor before our vows) we were given Psalm 128 1-5
“Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord : that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as fruitful vine by the sides of the thine house: thy children like olive plants round about the table. Behold thus shall the man be blessed that feareth of the Lord”

So that verse stuck with me as I gave my answer to my husband. I have used it on a marriage retreat that I led for women awhile ago. It means a lot to me and helps me focus when we have had hard times as everyone does in marriage. I had a very dear friend ask me recently why I don’t mind submitting to my husband?! Which struck me strange… then she shared her perspective with me and I shared mine. Since there has been a lot on here of submission I decided with her permission to add this part of our discussion but didn’t want to hijack another’s thread. My very dear friend is a new Christian and felt by submitting she was losing her brain, identity and being as we so often hear here and elsewhere the dreaded doormat.
I explained to her that she is to submit to her own husband not just any man first of all. That submission doesn’t mean to go along with anything against scripture and is biblical based. See God didn’t give us anything to put us in prison everything he gave us was to set us free. You will know you are submitting properly if you and your husbands marriage is getting better and heading towards a greater and better marriage and union . Will everything be perfect no as we are not perfect and everyone has things that we must face in our lives daily. By submitting to your own husband, your reflect the selfless love that Christ had for the Church..
Ephesians 5 :20-25, 33 Puts it all in perspective to me.

“ 20Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. 21 Submitting yourselves one to anther in the fear of the Lord. 22 Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church:and is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the Church is subject is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church and gave himself for it:”
33. “ Nevertheless let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife that she reverence her husband”

We have had the difficulties that all families face I guess, jobs, illness, disabilities, children and their needs a too full schedule , a miscarriage of twins at 19 weeks and financial at times. Is our marriage strong with having faced those ?Yes and stronger every day as we keep the Lord the center of our lives, live in his word, respect each. When we were going through those things through the tears and hardships the Lord carried us through and sustained us. We had our share of tears , heartaches, disagreements like everyone but I am so blessed to have had my marriage with a union through the Lord.

"A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22

I love you, LORD, my strength." Psalms 18:1

Is what we kept telling each other . We figured attitude is everything especially at times when that is all you feel you have…~smile~ When people or situations let us down we decided the Lord never would. I am sure we let each other down at times with anger or tears but we knew we must be happy of heart for our children and know that God had a plan for everything for his greater good.

We had to leave an area with all my friends that had become my family and a community we loved when my husband switched jobs due to an industrial accident that was real bad and hurt him physically. We didn’t want to take the chance for his lungs to be around certain chemicals anymore. That was hard facing a disability, huge loss of income, friends, our beloved community etc. I wanted to stay but my husband made the decision career wise to move and I accepted that….. Well I am so glad I did submit it was tough and I can’t say it all was a joy~ did you ever deal with the movers etc. well lets not even talk of the postal service and how great they forward etc….. and so on and so forth ~ smile~
Now don’t get me wrong he makes a lot of tough decisions daily and is responsible for the safety of many and lots daily so he like some of your DH doesn’t want the pressure of the home. So I do that for him decisions, taking care of things etc. to be a good wife we always discuss things and he has the final say. But yes I make lots of the decisions, but I am certainly not without a brain or a doormat just a respected and loved wife. We look to the Lord and not the problem whatever that may be for him to lead us.Our goals and family mission statements change with all our needs but we change and grow with them in the love of the Lord. Our mission statement hangs in a frame by our front door for all to see as we like you are proud of our family .
From our family to yours we wish you a Happy New Year and would enjoy hearing your goals for 2007 , family mission statements , accomplishments of 2006 or hints you have to help me reach mine. We met are goals through the Lord for 2006 and look towards a New Year in the Lord.
I have always had goals, mission statements, achievement notebooks and journals but this is my first year to add a homemaker’s journal , so many frugal and helpful hints, so thank you my dear sisters in Christ and the wonderful group of you that have become my friends.. As having a cozy happy debt free home is important to us. These added tools and your tips help us daily.

Your sister in Christ,

I love you, LORD, my strength." Psalms 18:1

" I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me " Philippians 4 KJV

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